Irreconcilable Differences

A good marriage is the union of two forgivers.

Ruth Graham

Irreconcilable Differences

Few would admit that they love a good fight. To suggest otherwise would make me seem crazy.

But statistics prove we either love to fight, or we are just too lazy to forgive.

Our unwillingness to do the work in our relationships, made famous by a little check mark next to a box that reads, irreconcilable differences.

If we were honest we’d admit the truth behind the irreconcilable mind is that we’d rather fight than forgive.

See, forgiveness is hard, but divorce… that’s a whole other story. You don’t even have to share my beliefs to agree that divorce is too easy; just check here and you’ll be free.

So instead of forgiving, we continue to fight and we start to think, “maybe next time we’ll get it right”.

And when the fighting reaches it’s ceiling, and the walls come crashing in on this whole “marriage thing”, we just shake our heads and sigh, “I guess he wasn’t the one for me”, and mark an x next to a tiny box on a page that reads, irreconcilable differences.

Irreconcilable differences, quit lying to me!! Get your hands off my marriage! Come, and see what I see.

I see a man on a cross, beaten and bleeding. To cover the very thing that made me think of leaving.

He say’s my marriage is worth it, and He’s not lying, so that divorce you are selling, you can keep it, I’m not buying.

I know true freedom isn’t found through sever. No, the kind of freedom I want, is only realized in surrender.

So I chose to lose more fights than I’ll win, and forgive often and freely; to let love, peace, and hope back in.

Because Truth, given a chance, will correct and restore. And will reconcile to Him all our differences from before. So maybe, one day, we won’t need that check box anymore.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

This is not the blog I originally set out to write. The blog I wanted to write fit nicely into 3 points that would be easy for you to remember and hard for you to ignore. Tools for your ever-growing toolbox, complete with poor attempts at humor. I planned to write that blog…and someday I might. Instead, however, I just want to beg you to make today freedom Sunday, and fight to forgive the people who’ve hurt you.

In no way am I suggesting forgiveness is easy, but I will say this:

God gives freedom through forgiveness unlike anything I’ve known, and there is enough grace to cover a whole multitude of wrongdoing. If you are struggling to forgive, I’m praying today is the day that you break free! Let God change your heart, and you can change the world.

If you’re not struggling to forgive this morning, would you join me in praying for marriages and relationships that have allowed difference to divide and sin to separate. Would you pray that they would know the freedom found in Jesus’ forgiveness, and be willing to extend that same love in response.

I’m praying for marriages this week. That they would be radical reflections of Jesus’ unending love for you and me.

PS… I’ve missed you

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8 thoughts on “Irreconcilable Differences

  1. Love it, Shaena. You guys *were* productive last night. 🙂 The first part reminds me of that spoken word YouTube video that’s going around. Was that your inspiration?

    Missed you too! Glad to see a new post!

  2. Love this! I was just ranting about this very thing a few nights ago. As soon as there’s a problem in marriages today some are so quick to end it. So I too choose to lose more fights and forgive often and freely! Winning fights isn’t worth losing my marriage.

  3. Honestly, being someone who isn’t married it is hard to hear that I’ll have to fight for a happy marriage. But I think we are a generation that sees marriage as something easy to step into and easy to step out of but hardly ever anything worth fighting for. I have a new perspectivemagine if Christ decided not to fight for us. If He wasn’t willing to set aside His irreconcilable differences where would we be?, God who knew no sin became sin so we could spend eternity woth Him. I’ve been thinking about your words and am ready to wait for someone to fight for but am seeing it’s not always easy. . I’m praying for many who are struggling or with thoughts of devorce or have already been through it.

  4. I was thinking about my talk with you last Sunday. Then I talked to my sister today, and one reason she is so distant to God is because she doesn’t understand God’s “rules” and why He says that once you say I do you are bonded for life. it broke my heart. That people become so easily mad at God. It makes sense, two people miserable what seems to be wasting their lives and when they get out that mean automatic “happiness.” but its not true. God desires the best plans for us so much that He says let man not seperate what I have put together. God knows the truth about the pain in divorse even when “they were being silly 18 year old and never were really in love.” The world paints such a sad picture for marriage taking away the beauty of it. God is breaking my heart for marriages and I am so happy that you are fighting and speaking about what God desires.

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