One Decade Down: marriage thoughts.

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I’ve been married for 10 years!

I know, crazy right? I wasn’t even a child bride.

10 years ago I decided to bet the farm on a curly-headed surfer who inspired me to dream bigger, see the unseen, and never quit.  I was sure our marriage would be perfect. I remember reading through the pre-marriage materials thinking, “gosh, I am so glad I am reading this now, we WILL NEVER BE THOSE PEOPLE”. You know the people I am referring to right? Those selfish, arrogant couples described in all the pre-marriage books who are always fighting. I was sure OUR marriage would be easier. After all, those people suck, and we were awesome. Not to mention, “God brought us together”, and “we loved each other”. Love is all we need, right?

Wrong.

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10 years ago I married a dreamer.

In 10 short years, we moved 8 times, had 2 kids, traveled to 6 different countries, and experienced 100s of wild adventures…. Some that I would do again.

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And in 10 long years we learned that despite our many similarities, we were as different as Mars and Venus. And that a picture perfect marriage, was harder than it looked… maybe impossible.

We laughed.

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We cried.

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We had love. But we needed something more.

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We lost.

We cared.

We embraced.

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We believed God would of sanctify us through our marriage, but it was hard. Maybe even harder than it was for the couples in the book.

We hurt.

We fought.

A LOT.

We failed to protect and then we drowned in grace.

And with GRACE:

We forgave.

We believed.

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We learned to LOVE each other thru that GRACE that covered us so completely. We experienced the depth of humanity within the battle for holiness. We realized that we needed grace MORE than we needed love. We needed to receive it, walk in it, and extend it every chance we got. Because grace would enable us to practice sacrifice and endure suffering.

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Always hoping.

Always trusting.

Always persevering.

And now believing, that LOVE, real love; love that comes by grace thru faith. That love NEVER FAILS.

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We thought our marriage would be perfect.

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Maybe it is.

Maybe the perfect marriage isn’t the one without spot or blemish, but the one that makes you more like Jesus. God has used our marriage for moments of great joy, but you know what I remember today? I remember the moments that filled my heart with hope and belief in the things unseen. And the moments that built trust in the sovereignty and wisdom of a Savior. Those moments are perfect. And for them and so much more, I am thankful for 10 years of a REAL marriage.

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“A man’s heart plans his way: but the LORD directs his steps”

Proverbs 16:9

Photography by Latisha Carlson. www.latishalyn.com

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6 thoughts on “One Decade Down: marriage thoughts.

  1. Shaena! Happy Anniversary to you and Nick! It’s beautiful to read this blog and get a glimpse of what The Lord has been doing in your marriage. I’m excited for all the more The Lord has in store for your marriage and the many more years to come. You guys are an amazing example of NEVER giving up. Thank you for showing many how the power of God and the grace of God leads you to fight for the truth and the will of God even when it gets extremely hard. I love you both and I thank God for the time we shared serving Jesus together!

  2. Shaena–this is pretty cool and definitely good advice for all new brides no matter their age! I find it interesting to read how God work His wondrous ways in every marriage no matter our ages or how long we’ve been married IF we allow Him to and as you say how His grace covers all our hurdles. So wonderful to watch you & Nick if only through social media–it makes my heart smile! Happy Anniversary!

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